Dear Paddlepop ,
I never thought I would be writing you this letter. There was a time when I thought our love would stand the test of time and nothing could come between us. Unfortunately, the years have chipped away at our once perfect relationship and there is nothing left to hold on to. The way things are now, we are no longer a positive influence in each other's life. We just make each other miserable instead of happy, and make life harder rather than easier. It is time to call it quits and go our separate ways.
I want you to know that I am not blaming you. I think we have both done everything we could and pursued every option available to try to keep this relationship together, but nothing has helped. We've had trial separations, gone the heritage jumpers and the 3 peat jumper, I've read you self-help books and ordered Dr. Phil's tapes. It should be clear to both of us by now that we are fighting a losing battle. The simplest problem or disagreement always gets blown up out of proportion and meaningful communication is no longer possible. The tension in our house is so thick you could cut it with a knife.
How many times have we said we have had enough and never wanted to see each other again, only to win a game, kiss and make up, then try again? Well, someone has to be the one to say enough is enough and I am doing it now. This time I am not coming back. I have moved you with an old friend in a storage unit until the Lions Board makes other arrangements. When you look round your new home, you will also see that I have packed my other Paddlepop things and my drawers are empty. Inevitably, Side Lion meant so much to me and those of us that honour agreements.
I believe that parting now is the best thing for both us. We still have our careers we can concentrate on and we both have friendly relationships with other members. I know some will find this news painful, but it was also painful for them to visit football venues and find us squabbling. No solution will please everyone or solve all our problems. We still have happy memories from the past; we need to concentrate on making the present as happy as possible and try to keep a positive outlook on the future. I think a year from now we will both be doing so much better that we'll probably wonder why we hadn't ended the relationship sooner.
I want you to know I wish you all the best. You have a lot of great qualities that will serve you well in the future. Let's try to remember the good times, let go of our present miseries, and have the common sense to move on.
Goodbye and fare thee well
Member no. #######